The art of the graceful "No."
😀 Plus the secret to discipline, the power of rules and your 3 word message to your 22 year old self.
Hey — It’s Dean.
Welcome to the 137th consecutive edition of the newsletter.
One of the goals I have each day is to find one new way of thinking — a mindset— that will have a profound impact on how I think moving forward.
The rationale is simple. All change starts with thinking new thoughts.
When I change how I think, it changes how I behave. When I change how I behave, I produce new outcomes. And those new outcomes allow me to become someone new and different from who I previously was.
I created this newsletter to share the best of what I uncover each week so you too can experience the wonder that new mindsets can create.
Here are 5 new mindsets I uncovered this past week that had a profound impact on my thinking, my habits and my results.
Steal shamelessly and apply them to any area of life so they can have a profound impact on you as well.
1/ On discipline.
This mindset comes from financial journalist Jason Zweig who writes for the Wall Street Journal.
“Discipline is the greatest virtue of them all - the one without which all the others can still fail. At its heart, discipline simply means not making it up as you go along, never flying by the seat of your pants. It means using rules, checklists, procedures and policies to make good decisions.”
Most people think discipline is a magical force that descends upon them in moments that matter. Others think it’s a genetic trait you are fortunate enough to inherit.
It is neither.
Discipline is about making good decisions in moments that matter.
And good decisions don’t happen by accident!
We can greatly improve our discipline by investing in decision making tools like planning in advance and crafting rules, procedures and checklists that will help guide our decisions in moments that matter.
Notes to myself...discipline is the result of good decision making.
invest in decision making tools like rules, checklists and the mental process of deciding in advance to skew discipline in all areas of my life in my favour.
This includes…
weight loss
solopreneurship
relationship building
money
self-improvement
2/ On creating rules.
Ramit Sethi is the author of the best seller “I will teach you to be rich” and the Host of a new Netflix Series called “How to get rich.”
One of the strategies Ramit uses with clients is to have them create their 10 rules around money.
These are Ramit’s rules around money.
These rules guide how he will behave with his money.
And to Jason’s point above, it’s also a guiding document to bulletproof his financial discipline.
Notes to myself...I love #6 — Buy the best and keep it as long as possible. I love getting great value for the things I purchase.
#6 also applies when choosing friends, jobs and someone to marry.
There is something magical about 10 rules. It’s not a coincidence there are only 10 commandments.
I have my 10 rules around weight loss. Create my list of 10 money rules.
3/ On the art of the graceful no.
Management guru and prolific author Peter Drucker, was once asked by another big-time author to do an interview on creativity.
Here was Peter’s response.
“I am greatly honoured and flattered by your kind request for I have admired you and your work for many years, and I have learned much from it. But my dear friend, I am afraid I have to disappoint you. I could not possibly answer your questions. I am told I am creative but I don’t know what that means. I just keep on plodding. I hope you will not think me presumptuous or rude if I say that one of the secrets of productivity (in which I believe whereas I do not believe in creativity) is to to have a very big wastepaper basket to take care of all invitations such as yours — productivity in my experience consists of not doing anything that helps the work of other people, but to spend all one’s time on the work the Good Lord has fitted one to do, and to do well.”
Saying no is not something we are very good at.
For some reason we feel bad about enforcing the rules we have created for ourselves.
We would rather break our rules (and feel bad about doing that) rather than risk making others feel bad.
Peter shows that it is possible to enforce your rules while also not hurting others feelings by becoming great at the art of the graceful no.
Notes to myself...Fascinating that Peter does not believe in creativity, but rather that great things come from being productive.
He also reveals a mindset on how he remains productive. → “Productivity in my experience consists of not doing anything that helps the work of other people, but to spend all one’s time on the work the Good Lord has fitted one to do, and to do well.”
The art of the graceful “NO” is a skill that can be used in all areas of life.
Create a graceful no when it comes to declining foods and drinks that don’t fit into my diet plan.
4/ On having impact.
This is from solopreneur Dan Koe.
As work begins to change with the proliferation of AI, people who can solve their own problems and sell those solutions are the ones that will make their lifestyle fantasies a reality.
Notes to myself...I believe this is the secret to living a great life.
It’s also a template on how to use social media — share the problems you are working on and the results they are producing.
5/ A question.
This comes from author Tim Urban.
What a great question!
I love that I only have 3 words. There is such power in constraints.
Notes to myself...I was in university at 22. My jokey answer is, “Stop drinking fatso.”
My serious answer, that still stands today is, “Study successful people.”
That is all for today.
See you next Sunday my friend.
And hey — keep being awesome.
Dean 🇨🇦
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